AI and the Sandwich

I haven’t talked to my father in about 30 years.

That’s a weird way to begin a blog entry about sandwiches, but there is some relevance–bear with me. He and my mother had been divorced since I was in grade school–early grades, closer to first than to sixth. At that time 30 years ago when I last spoke to him, my brother and I were both in college trying to get a little help with tuition. He fought, and my mom took him to court, and he made it clear to me and a courtroom full of people that the financial cost of having fathered me was a bigger blow to him than the time we hadn’t spent together, moments after speaking proudly of his then-toddler son and the daughter he and his wife were expecting at the time. It was a bridge-burning moment I suppose. His parents, whom I loved dearly and still think about often, were by then gone already, and with them I suppose any remaining ties to that side of my–our–family.

Years–decades I should say–later, when some of that family reached out to me on Facebook, the first thing some of them asked me was whether I was Jim Sr. or Jim Jr. It seems that my father hadn’t just burned one bridge but many, and salted the earth as well. None of his extended family had spoken to him in decades either. By then I looked just enough like their decades-old memories of Jim Sr. that I can understand why they’d ask. I keep in touch with a few of them–cousins, second cousins, and the like, the extended clan of an aunt or great-aunt maybe, passed now, whose house I remember visiting on many occasions a lifetime ago. It feels good to reconnect with them, nice but also a bit melancholy, a reminder of time lost and the connections I grew up missing.

All that is to say–I have a cousin, a first cousin I think but I can’t say for sure as I don’t have a solid mental model of this family to whom I’m bound by blood but in reality only loosely connected. His name is Michael and he seems to live a fascinating life, traveling the world providing strategic planning and cybersecurity expertise surrounding electoral systems, real big-brain stuff that I’d love to listen to him talk about over a beer or three some day. I don’t remember him from when I was younger, but we’ve gotten friendly–in social media terms, anyway–over the past few years and he’s become a fan of this site.

Michael has–as have so many people in the past few months, it seems practically de rigeur these days–begun to interact with and evaluate AI, whether strictly in a personal capacity or professionally as well I’m unsure. When he learned about ChatGPT’s capacity to write “in the style of” a particular writer or genre, he decided to ask ChatGPT to, in his words:

create a new sandwich based upon international influences, share the recipe, then “write a blog post about the new sandwich in the style of The Sandwich Tribunal”.

Michael shared with me that ChatGPT was able to generate the content I’m about to share with you (with Michael’s permission, though not ChatGPT’s who certainly did not have my permission to attempt to replicate the Tribunal’s work so I don’t feel bad about it) in just a few seconds. I do feel something about it beyond just ambivalence, a vague unease I suppose. I don’t think that ChatGPT did a particularly good job of replicating my voice–the blog post it provided reads more like a parody of a mommy blog, as Michael himself said. It feels generated rather than written, if that makes sense.

I’m going to step back now and let ChatGPT take you away with its description of this internationally-inspired “Global Fusion Delight” of a sandwich–along with my own photographs of said sandwich and ChatGPT’s reply to a followup question from Michael–then I’ll have some more notes.

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Dear Adventurous Sandwich Enthusiasts,

Prepare to embark on a culinary journey like no other as we unveil the crown jewel of sandwich artistry—the legendary Zephyr Supreme Sandwich. This extraordinary creation draws inspiration from the vast tapestry of global flavors, weaving together a symphony of tastes that will transport you across continents with each delectable bite.

The foundation of this remarkable sandwich is rooted in the European bread-making tradition. With its lightly toasted artisanal sourdough slices, we pay homage to centuries of craftsmanship that have perfected the delicate balance between a tender crumb and a satisfying crunch.

As you venture further, the Middle Eastern spice markets beckon with zesty horseradish mayo, infused with a boldness that captures the essence of exotic flavors. This vibrant condiment adds a touch of intrigue and transports you to bustling bazaars brimming with tantalizing aromas.

From the heart of North American delis comes the marriage of thinly sliced roast beef and smoked turkey. Tender and succulent, these meats pay tribute to the beloved sandwich heritage that has delighted countless taste buds across the continent.

To add a hint of smoky allure, we turn to the Southern barbecue traditions, where crispy bacon crumbles join the ensemble. Their intoxicating aroma and smoky flavor lend a tantalizing depth to the Zephyr Supreme Sandwich, reminiscent of slow-cooked meats on open fire pits.

Our sandwich then takes a detour to the sun-drenched Mediterranean coast. Marinated sun-dried tomatoes make their entrance, infusing the sandwich with their robust, tangy essence. These gems of flavor transport us to quaint seaside villages, where vibrant ingredients and Mediterranean hospitality collide.

Adding a touch of freshness and verdant elegance, we turn to the lush gardens of Italy for inspiration. A handful of fresh arugula leaves, known for their peppery bite, dance gracefully atop the sandwich. They lend a vibrant burst of flavor, akin to the vibrant fields of Italy’s countryside.

As we reach the final destination of our global expedition, we encounter the enticing allure of Asian street food stalls. Sliced red onion, known for its piquancy and versatility, joins the ranks. With its crisp texture and subtle tang, it brings an element of surprise, paying homage to the bustling food markets that stir the senses across the continent.

Each layer of the Zephyr Supreme Sandwich harmonizes with the others, elevating the taste experience to extraordinary heights. The fusion of international influences creates a flavor symphony that transcends borders, showcasing the rich diversity and cross-cultural connections found in the world of cuisine.

So, dear sandwich enthusiasts, take a leap of culinary faith and indulge in the marvel that is the Zephyr Supreme Sandwich. Let your taste buds embark on this global journey, where European finesse, Middle Eastern spices, North American charm, Mediterranean vibrancy, and Asian flair converge to create a masterpiece that celebrates the beauty of culinary fusion.

Join us in savoring this extraordinary sandwich, and may each bite transport you to far-flung lands, where flavors intertwine and cultures collide in a harmonious celebration of culinary artistry. The Zephyr Supreme Sandwich awaits your arrival—bon appétit!

Disclaimer: The Sandwich Tribunal is not responsible for any travel urges or spontaneous globe-trotting that may arise as a result of consuming the Zephyr Supreme Sandwich. Travel responsibly and enjoy the journey within each bite.

Please explain how you came up with the name of the sandwich

The name “Zephyr Supreme” for our extraordinary sandwich was not arrived at by chance. It was carefully crafted to capture the essence and spirit of this culinary masterpiece.

Firstly, let’s explore the term “Zephyr.” Derived from Greek mythology, Zephyrus was the gentle west wind, often associated with the arrival of spring and the awakening of nature. The word “Zephyr” conjures images of a light breeze, carrying scents and whispers of distant lands. This evokes a sense of wanderlust and discovery, perfectly aligning with the global fusion concept of our sandwich.

The addition of “Supreme” to the name signifies the unparalleled excellence and grandeur of this creation. It represents the pinnacle of sandwich craftsmanship, where every ingredient has been meticulously selected and layered to achieve the utmost flavor and texture perfection.

The combination of “Zephyr” and “Supreme” captures the essence of our sandwich—an extraordinary blend of international influences and culinary artistry that elevates it to a level above the ordinary. It promises a gustatory adventure, transporting you to diverse cultures and far-flung lands with each bite.

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And here I thought “Supreme” just meant the addition of tomato and lettuce!

I’ll be honest–this sandwich didn’t sound half bad to me. It sounded great in fact, so good that I went ahead and had it for lunch multiple days in a row and I’d eat another one right now if you put it in front of me. AI’s sandwich game seems strong, and if any of you are fans of the Sandwiches of History account on Tiktok (or Instagram or Facebook or any of the other platforms Barry is on) you probably know this already–Barry has lately been doing “Sandwiches of Future History” on Fridays, AI-generated sandwiches complete with backstories, and many of the AI Friday sandwiches have been, based on Barry’s reactions, surprisingly good. Michael may in fact owe some of the success of this ChatGPT-generated sandwich to Barry, who has spent some time training the AI and has, he says, had to repeat and clarify prompts multiple times before to get something usable out of the AI.

So clearly, an AI can be programmed to know workable flavor pairings, it can read eight hundred sandwich recipes quicker than you or I could tap a stopwatch and say “GO,” and it can easily regurgitate the 10 paragraphs of SEO-bait that accompany the typical ad-bloated recipe blog. An AI might even tell you a sad story about being estranged from its fictional father. But an AI doesn’t know the experience of having a father, or not having one, or being one for that matter. An AI knows nothing about the experience of eating a sandwich, or even the act of making one. An AI can find any fact in the world–or make up its own facts–to fill out a text it’s been asked to prepare. But there is a polish on its words, an uncanny valley as eerie as any humanoid robot falls into. It is not human, and it cannot write human prose effectively. (I’m not sure about poetry, but their rap lyrics are getting there)

Only an AI would know that horseradish originated in Eastern Europe and Western Asia, and assert that as a result, normal human beings would associate it with the spice markets of the Middle East. Only an AI would know that crispy American-style belly bacon is smoked, and assert that as a result, normal human beings would associate it with Southern barbecue traditions. (I’m not saying there’s no connection there, but bacon is not what I think of when I think of barbecue. And why crumble the bacon before adding it? Do you want it to fall out of the sandwich?) And it is a typical AI move to try to snow you into thinking that there is a particular unique connection between sliced red onions and the street food traditions of East Asia.

It takes an AI to describe to you this sandwich, a deli-style turkey club with a few deli-style twists like roast beef, sun-dried tomatoes, and horseradish mayo, and then spin such an exotic backstory for it. No human would call this very ordinary sandwich; a sandwich you could custom-order in many a deli across the US without issue; a sandwich whose most exotic ingredient is arguably the sun-dried tomatoes that blew up in the US 40 years ago and have since, in these parts anyway, faded somewhat into cultural obscurity; a “triumph of fusion cuisine” featuring “diverse flavors found across the globe.”

Only an AI, that is, who is attempting to replicate the writing voice of a mommy blogger aiming to hit a minimum word count for SEO purposes. Certainly not an AI that is successfully imitating my writing voice. I’m almost certain I have never used this many superlatives in a single post.

In fact the most human feature of the blog post and the accompanying recipe (which I’m providing below) is this: the fact that the ingredients list for the sandwich specifies 2 slices of Provolone cheese which are then never mentioned again, either in the assembly steps of the recipe or in the blog describing the sandwich. If you’ve spent much time reading typical, human-written recipes, you’ll know there’s a long and storied tradition of this type of ghost ingredient, especially in older cookbooks. In the following recipe, I added a step for the provolone, though I skipped trying to sound like the AI. It was, after all, supposed to be trying to sound like me.

It is with a heavy heart though that I inform you: this sandwich is brilliant. I don’t think the roast beef, smoked turkey, or provolone are particularly important–I think just about any non-dried whole-muscle cold cut would work fine in this, though I would hesitate to use a forcemeat like bologna or something particularly chewy like hard salami. Ham and tongue would be interesting, corned beef or pastrami might be a touch too salty but I’d try it. The great part is not specifically the meats but the way all the other elements of the sandwich interact.

It’s the interplay between the sun-dried tomato–which, being salted and dried, has all the flavor of a tomato but amplified, sweeter and sourer and more intensely savory–and the bacon, that classic pairing of umami heavyweights. It’s the peppery pungent tear inducing combination of the arugula–which, like the black pepper its flavor is often compared to has an interesting and recognizable flavor of its own but is better used to augment the flavor of another food–the horseradish mayonnaise, and the red onion. It’s the crispness of the toasted sourdough giving way to the softer crumb inside, the thin-sliced meats parting between your teeth, the riot of flavors playing off each other in ways that seem to change from bite to bite.

I have colleagues who have embraced AI as a tool in their repertoire, a way of quickly finding answers to technical questions in a field where generalists like us simply have too much we’re expected to know. And I get it; as it is, I have offloaded so much of the knowledge I need to do my job to hastily-typed Google searches that anyone could do. My value, what makes me good at my job, is recognizing patterns and understanding when a particular hit out of a hundred thousand search results seems most likely to apply. It’s not a process I could train someone on; there’s not an algorithm that I could write to replicate that, there’s no decision tree involved, it is highly intuitive and happening on a subconscious level.

I don’t think you can replace that, any more than an AI can write a human story with the depth, the nuance, the understanding of human behavior that an actual human can, no matter what streaming execs who have wallets where their hearts should be envision for the future. An AI can generate interesting drawings in a number of styles but it’s only mimicry, not Actual Art. An AI can quickly write up a procedure for configuring OSPF-based dynamic routing on a Palo Alto firewall but it’s simply synthesizing and rearranging words it’s found elsewhere that it does not itself understand, or worst case simply making things up–you’d better have it checked over by an actual network engineer before you implement it.

As far as I know, you cannot currently order a Zephyr Supreme anywhere, unless Skynet has opened a weird robot cafe that I haven’t heard about. If it has, I’d take a good look at the ingredients list before you order anything.

@sandwichidiot Inspired by my cousin Michael, who prompted ChatGPT to come up with this sandwich, and following in the footsteps of my buddy Barry over at @SandwichesofHistory, may I present the AI-generated Zephyr Supreme sandwich. Check out my website for the full writeup including recipe. #airecipe #sandwich #chatgpt #roastbeef #turkeyclub ♬ original sound – Jim Behymer