Chicago’s Mother-in-law

Search the internet for mentions of Chicago’s Mother-in-law sandwich, a cheap mass-produced tamale on a bun with chili, and the results you find will likely mention one of two different places (or both of them, possibly): Fat Johnnie’s on South Western Ave, or Johnny O’s on 35th St. I mentioned the Johnny O’s version on this site way back in March of 2015 when a sportswriter from USA Today took it upon himself to crown the world’s greatest sandwich, and the Fat Johnnie’s version last year when I was writing about hot dogs.

(I guess I didn’t actually get a photo of Fat Johnnie’s version, though the Mighty Dog is the same thing with an actual hot dog added to the mess)

The truth is, though, that nearly any hot dog stand on Chicago’s south side either 1) knows what a mother-in-law is and can make you one, 2) already have a variation of the theme on their menu (such as “tamale boat” or “chili tamale”), or 3) can make you one with ingredients they have on hand, even if they’ve never heard of it. The mother-in-law requires 3 ingredients, a hot dog bun, a condiment-type chili, and a cheap manufactured tamale such as the Tom Tom tamale, ubiquitous in Chicago. I can’t think of a hot dog stand near me that doesn’t have those three ingredients on hand. After that, it’s just a matter of preferred condimentation.

You can probably even ask for ketchup without being mocked. Well, maybe not. This is Chicago, after all. But in this interview with John Pawlikowski, the original Fat Johnnie, he says his mother-in-law was inspired by a tamale-in-a-bun with ketchup from his youth.

Test case #1: Firehouse Hot Dogs in Midlothian, IL. The “tamale boat”

This is a typical little Greek-owned hot dog stand, better known for their broasted chicken than for their hot dogs, but largely competent in everything they do. Not only do they serve hot dogs, chili, and chili dogs, they also serve Tom Tom tamales for about a buck fifty each. I stopped in for broasted chicken on a recent afternoon and, on a whim asked the owner if he served a mother-in-law.

“Right here,” he said, pointing to to the words “TAMALE BOAT” on his menu. He seemed a little taken aback when I asked him to drag it through the garden but he was game.

This is not a sandwich. The tamale boat is just that, a tamale, served in a boat, with chili and whatever other fixins you can talk the proprietor into adding for you. He even added some nacho cheese sauce fresh from the pump.

This is not haute cuisine. But it can be oddly satisfying, and there’s little else that crinkle-cut fries are good for other than scooping up chili and nacho cheese.

Test case #2: Luke’s Italian Beef in Chicago. The chili tamale.

Luke’s gets busy at lunchtime. I stopped by late in the lunch rush one day only to find that they were still rushing. I’d intended to coax a mother-in-law out of them but I wasn’t going to be able to keep the counter person’s attention quite that long. So instead I ordered a bowl of chili and a tamale (also only $1.50 for the tamale here, not bad for downtown prices) and assembled back at my office.

It’s not a bad way to eat one of these Tom Tom tamales, dousing them in chili. We still have not achieved sandwich though.

Test Case #3: Mickey’s Gyros in Palos Hills, IL. Spreading the word.

I stopped in here for a quick dinner on my way to my regular Wednesday night dart league and, noticing they had a “chili tamale” on the menu, I asked if they could make me a mother-in-law. This was a new one to the lady taking my order, but she said, “Tell me what’s in it and I’ll tell you if I can make you one.” Of course they had all the necessary ingredients and she was happy to oblige.

“Why do you call it a mother-in-law?” she asked.

“Well, I didn’t make it up, but I’m told that it’s because it gives you heartburn.”

I should mention at this point that my mother-in-law is a delightful lady who not only does not give me heartburn, she would be very happy to recommend me several potential remedies if I were to complain to her of heartburn. She also reads this blog, yes, but I’d say that even if she weren’t listening.

I ordered a Chicago dog along with the mother-in-law and ate them at the bar.

By this time I was starting to develop tamale fatigue. However, of the two items pictured above, the mother-in-law was by far my preference. I’m told that the gyros are the thing to eat at Mickey’s, and if I ever find myself there again, that is what I’ll stick with.

Putting it together

Well as it turns out I wasn’t going to be able to make it to either Johnny O’s or Fat Johnnie’s this month. However, just as you can find the ingredients for a mother-in-law at any south side hot dog stand, you can find them at any south-side grocery store as well. Tom Tom tamales come frozen for less than a buck apiece, and there are various condiment chilies available on almost any grocery store shelf.

You can heat up one of these tamales on a plate or in a bowl with a little bit of water to keep things moist. Or you can get out your big giant tamale steamer and do it the right way, like I did.

Here’s the thing, though. Even prepared optimally, Tom Tom tamales are just not very good. They use a coarser yellow corn meal instead of a finely ground, nixtamalized masa, and they’re extruded from a machine rather than hand-rolled, resulting in a thin coating of batter around a blandly-seasoned, finely ground meat paste. You can hardly taste where the corn ends and the meat begins.

The advantage of this arrangement is consistency–they are perfectly round and perfectly fitted to the average hot dog bun.

The disadvantage is that you need a strong addition like chili to make this sandwich taste like anything.

After that, as I said, it’s all about condimentation. What would you put on a chili dog? Mustard and onion would be a good combination I think, but I took a page from the Johnny O’s handbook and used the typical Chicago dog condiments. Mustard, onion, neon green relish, a dill pickle spear, tomato slices, celery salt, and sport peppers.

It should come as no surprise to anyone that this is a mess to eat. A hot dog thus loaded would be difficult enough, but at least the sausage would provide some structure. Steamed Tom Tom tamales are fragile and break easily, so this becomes a rapidly disintegrating pile of foodlike things on bread. There’s a reason Johnny O’s gives out plastic forks with their rendition.

The mother-in-law is an interesting piece of Chicago culinary lore, and worth trying once, but please don’t spend a month eating them like I just did. Here’s looking forward to a new batch of sandwiches in November.